For all of you who stormed heaven with your prayers; who meditated and chanted with me for "No Nodes;" who held me up through all the dark uncertain days; who nourished me with food and company and yes, even my country neighbor who assured me if anything needed shot, he was my man...A GREAT BIG COSMIC THANK YOU.Pete and I went to visit Dr. McSmarty, the Plastic Surgeon today. We arrived at his office at 11:11 am. For those of you who have been on this journey for many years with me, you know that I lost my younger sister Lauri to breast cancer at the age of 43, and my wonderful mother to Ovarian cancer when she was 62. When Mom passed away, Lauri got into numerology and would point out that whenever the numbers 1111 or 111 would show up, it meant that an angel was watching over you. She would see these numbers in weird places, like on a license plate, when she was thinking of my mom. To her it meant mom was saying "HEY. Look at me. I'm here." When we lost Lauri, we started seeing these numbers too. So of course today, when the appointment started at 11:11 - it was surely a sign my sister who had walked with me through this disease before, and my mom, were certainly with me now.
Dr. McSmarty assured us that everything was healing perfectly and was looking better than expected. He gave me a couple of more exercises to do (YAY!) and told me that next Tuesday he hopes to have all the fills done. With this appointment completed, we went over to our Happy Place for lunch, Two Sisters, and had some great nutritious salads. Then over to Dr. Grant's office to find out the pathology of this most recent cancer. Tension was high.
Boy, Dr. Grant was chit chatty today. Taking his time feeling up the new boobies, marveling at his masterwork and giving me more exercises (with weights! YAY!); talking about his vacation and what he was reading. BLAH BLAH BLAH...HEY, what about those nodes? He was getting there which I thought was a sign there was bad news coming.
Then he said - CLEAR! Nothing in the nodes. Nothing in the breast tissue from either breast. The teeny tiny cancer that could not be felt but only seen through amazing new diagnostic mammography equipment at Baylor was contained. What this means, is NO CHEMOTHERAPY. Having been down that road before, I was braced for a re-run but dreading it. People who have had chemotherapy, I know you feel me. It's not as bad as it looks on TV or the movies but trust me it's no walk in the park either. I still have long term effects from C1 Chemotherapy.
Then Dr. Grant hugged me. I know what this means - parting is such sweet sorrow. I will see him occasionally but he is moving on to a new steadier girlfriend. I wish them both luck. Pete and I were teary eyed - and we were Facebook posting and text messaging the good news simultaneously from Dr. G's office. We were keeping it together pretty good, until check out time and Pete looked over at the little label holder on the nurse's desk pictured above - 11:11. Then I lost it...and his staff was all looking at me weird until I was finally able to explain the connection. The office manager said her husband was into the 11:11 thing too.
I've never cried in Dr. Grant's office before - I've cried in the elevator and in my car. I've hugged many crying people in the hall and the elevator from Dr. Grant's office. I'm sure the waiting room people thought I had just received some horrible news with my sobbing...but how do you explain tears of joy? Tears of relief? Tears of grief - knowing a sister and a mother left you here on earth but continue to watch over you in heaven? I know for sure today that angels were walking with me.
And if you've ever had any disbelief that positive energy, prayers, good karma etc. work...I am here to tell you that this energy could move mountains and change the world. I feel lucky to have friends, family and strangers who were willing to pray with me for this great outcome. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. I hope I can be there for you when you need a friend, a prayer, a chant.
So next steps...
Next week I go for my final fill in the expanders, then will talk with Dr. McSmarty about when the exchange surgery will happen and we'll swap out the expanders for the perkier implants. Size C. I'm enjoying being a smaller girl this time around.
Silver Linings:
Reaffirmed belief that people are basically pretty awesome and will come together for a common cause. We have more in common than our differences.
Early Detection has been life saving for me and I thank God I have the knowledge, the discipline and the health insurance to get my regular mammogram.
Have you gotten yours?
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