Thursday, August 25, 2011

No More Bad Hair Days, Finding a Silver Lining in a battle with Cancer

My sister Lauri wrote a column for the Hilton Head Monthly when she was battling breast cancer for the second time. I've been really missing her...she has been my inspiration to fight and was the inspiration for the name of my blog. These are her words with a little paraphrasing and commentary from me in ( ):

Your life is moving along, you have your usual bumps and curves in the road. Then one day you hit a pot hole (you can see we grew up in PA). You are forced to take a different route - the scenery has totally changed. You have been given a diagnosis of cancer.

The next thing you know you are spending a day going over tests and X-Rays, woking on finding a treatment plan and a way to save your life. Your doctors are now your tour guides. In the coming weeks and months, these doctors will become your closest friends on your new journey. The staff and nurses put up with all my friends who come along to make sure I don't make a run for it when no one is looking.

Every three weeks I spend my day with a diverse group of people.We all come from different places, we are young and old. But we have one thing in common - sharing the same disease. We are able to open up and talk about our hopes and fears. We help each other get through that one day that we always dread, but which we also know is a day of hope - that today's treatment will cure our cancer.

We come with our scarves, ball hats, wigs and sometimes just bald. Like in everyday life, we have the cancer "fashionable," the cancer "comfy," and the cancer "can't figure out what my look is" dressers. (Lauri looked great sporting the bald head!)

Some of us are traumatized by our hair loss - mostly because it lets you know that we are fighting a disease that could take our lives. When you see us, remember that we were once just like you and our lives changed one day in an instant.

However, instead of being sad for us, think about how easy, as women, our lives have become. No more shaving - hey, big time saver in the morning, and arm pits - hello. No bikini lines to worry about. (I can still picture her saying this).

How about the money we are saving on hair cuts, color and highlights? And waxing? No more worries about eyebrows, bikini lines, and let's not forget the famous Brazilian wax. Not for me - my hair fell off effortlessly. And what about the legs? When you're 5'10" (yes, you read that right, I am the oldest but the runt of the family), my gosh, I would spend an extra 20 minutes shaving every day. Need I say more?

I think I can speak for my fellow cancer friends when I say thanks for the love, the dinners, the phone calls and the visits at just the right moment when we are feeling down. You all know you are and we couldn't go through this without you. (AMEN!).

My best friend, from down under, always reminds me of the three things we need in life: something to love, something to hope for and something to look forward to. (Ah, Nick...such a great, great friend to my sister - he traveled many times from Australia to Hilton Head to visit her and she was able to make her long awaited trip to see him there. High school buddies from when we lived in Taiwan. How much joy his friendship brought her).

Please remember, the next time you see one of "us" - that a little wink or whistle is just what we need. And don't be envious because we no longer have bad hair days.

(I MISS YOU LAURI...)

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