C- Rant

Six weeks post surgery now and I had expected to feel better than this. No, I'm not in pain. Yep, I am working and doing most of my usual things. But do you know how heavy doors are? Or when you are in crowds, how many people get in your personal space? Or how many people as a matter of course pat you on the back? And it's amazing the number of things that require use of your chest muscles. Opening jars. Taking off your shirts. Shaving your legs. Giving and receiving hugs.

It totally sucks not being able to work out. Or to hold my granddaughter...or carry her...or just crush her up against me and squeeze her tight. Not being able to sleep in my own bed, or sleep on my side (my preferred method of sleeping). Springing leaks where fluid build up is trying to get out...my God I feel like I am nursing again.

Hard right or left turns are tough, turning the whole way around to look at traffic is almost impossible and closing the car door is still difficult. Don't drive anywhere near me! I'm not totally safe.

I could go shopping. I have the money and the time. But not sure what this body is really going to shake out like. I have a brand spanking new pool - it is very, very, very nice, in 100 degree killer heat in Texas and I can only enjoy it waist deep. There comes a time in every C Journey where you are just so dang tired of it all. You want your regular life back, but your life is never regular again.

OK OK I know, this is the silver linings blog and mine went all rusty. I am thankful for Physical Therapists and having insurance that pays for it all. Hopefully it will get me back to the silver lining.

Thanks for letting me get this off my aching chest. I feel better already. Now who hid my chocolate?