Cancer-versary

10 years ago today, at lunch time, I was sitting in a Mexican Restaurant that's no longer there. It's now a Taco Diner. I was with a friend/business associate. It was a beautiful sunny day. I remember the restaurant had a bunch of different crosses on the wall. And there were so many men eating lunch there. And my friends were at my house texturing and painting the walls.  Just weird things I remember.

Then the phone call as lunch was arriving. Tacos? Enchiladas? Taco Salad? I don't remember that part. But I remember the words...are you on your cell phone? Are you at a safe place to talk? Are you sitting down? And then Charlie Brown's teacher talking WAA WAA WAA WAA WAA...I honestly was not understanding a word she said until she finally got to the point. I'm sorry. You have cancer.   Yes...just like that on the phone, in the middle of lunch at the Mexican restaurant.  And then my end of the conversation went something like this:  WHAT? No, the dr. said it looked like nothing. The radiologist said she would be shocked if it was anything other than benign. So what is this you are telling me? Have you confused me with some other person that has my same name? Did you swap biopsy results in the lab - you know that happens right?

Charlie Brown's teacher sqawking again.

I remember my friend holding my hands and praying with me. And all those crosses. And all those businessmen eating their Mexican food.  And tears rolling down my face. But I didn't lose my appetite. I ate my Mexican food too.  Because it takes a lot for me to lose my appetite. And my friend gave me the name of three friends who had been there done that with breast cancer...and I got home to my friends who were painting and I remember saying I have F*ing breast cancer. And we all hugged and we cried. And then I called my sister and told her she had to tell my parents and spread the word.  I got on the computer or phone, I don't remember and told my closest friends. and Pete.  Because this is what you do when you find out such terrible things - you tell.  And then we went down the yellow brick road, went through the scary forest, lost my hair/regained my hair and got back to Kansas.

So here we are -  10 years post C1 and celebrating the Cancer-versary?  Remembering is more like it.

It did dawn on me that maybe I needed to re-set the clock for C2...but then I decided I need two cancer-versaries because the greatest silver lining of cancer is getting to make your rules up as you go. And this is mine.

Now where's my cake?