Meet Hope

Hope was conceived while recovering. As the piles of beautiful cards starting stacking up in Cancer II, against a mountain of them from Cancer I…I started to daydream about what I could do with all those powerful healing words and beautiful images.  It seemed a shame that they were stuffed in a drawer - well some were displayed, some were in a drawer, some were on my desk, some were on the counter...so many of them. THANK YOU!!!  No two alike - I loved them all. 

My niece Sara, a true artist, found an Etsy store that sold sculpted bodies and this became Hope’s canvas.

Generally, I’m the big picture thinker with the end result in mind, so it came to no surprise that I lassoed my besties ( thanks Kathy, Kristi and Lisa) into art day. I've been known to pay people to finish my projects but not this time!  The C card is still working.   After a little wine, some good music and a lot of laughs…Hope came to life.  To all of those who shared my journey with your funny cards, your inspirational messages, prayers, wisdom, tears and laughter…thank you.   Hope is filled with you.

She's not quite finished yet...still have some work to do to on her face and bling to add.  She will be entered into our Art for the Cure/Silent Auction event on October 1 in Grapevine.  Please come bid on her and if you have something you'd like to donate for the auction, let me know ASAP.  All proceeds benefit putting an end to breast cancer forever and assisting women in our community with education, screening and treatment.

Silver lining: Craft day with my friends - feels like I'm a kid again!  Reading through all the love again... can you find your card or words of encouragement on Hope?  I have to say my favorite image on hope were words from my sister Lauri on a card when Cancer I was finished - it said simply THE END. Love, Lauri. Can you find it?

Follow, follow, follow, follow, follow the yellow brick road

Clicking the heels and one step closer to home this week. Yesterday we had the first follow up appointment with Dr. McSmarty (girls, let's face it - it's better to have a smart one than a pretty one), the Plastic Surgeon. He looked at how I was healing and said AWESOME...the radiated breast is acting like a radiated breast - those 40 treatments of heavy dose radiation 9.5 years ago in C1, has made that skin difficult to work with - but not impossible!

The two drains I had on either side of me were removed and it didn't hurt a bit, although it was weird because they were snaked around the entire breast area and the tube was much larger than I expected it to be. FREEDOM! Having those pesky things removed is a huge step in recovery and mobility.

He added 100 ccs of saline into each breast. We'll do this one or two more times, and then there is an exchange surgery to put the implant in. There's a new Gummy Bear implant that they are using - thanks John and Clare on the heads up about that. Yes, it feels like a gummybear. Sure, you can touch them when they're in - I won't feel a thing!!

I am feeling some tightness across the breast area from the new saline expanding my skin. However, I'm off painkillers completely and moving to Advil. You know what that means? YES. I enjoyed my first glass of post surgery wine. Ahhhh

No news on the nodes - so keep up the prayers and chanting. The breast surgeon has not called me about the results. The plastic surgeon didn't have them and I am seeing them both next Thursday. If they don't call me, I'm not calling them. I'll just find out next week and enjoy my drain-free life right now. If I have to do additional chemotherapy, they will not put in the gummy bears until I'm finished with that.

So my fellow Texans, is it HOT OR WHAT? I can't wait until I'm able to get out and about exercising but in the mean time, we decided we needed a pool so that project starts NOW. Swimming will be great therapy and a great way to beat the heat. And maybe we can more easily lure you out to see us.

Silver Linings:

Driving!

Wine!

Return to normalcy, if only for awhile. Pete heads back to work on Monday.

Pink is my favorite color

Today I have a date with my on-again boyfriend Dr. Grant who will conduct all the markings for my Farewell to Breasts Tour. Love is always better the second time around? Hmmm. Pete and I are checking into the Westin tonight to enjoy an early evening on the town (no eating after midnight), sleep in a little (our drive to Baylor from the Ranch is 1.5 hours), check into Baylor Spa 7:30 a.m. Wednesday, with surgery beginning at 9:00 am - I like my doctors fresh!

Am I scared? Worried? Nervous? YES. Am I confident that I have the best information, the best doctors, the best support system - YES. I think they cancel each other out so I'll be listening to my new surgery meditations (thanks Aunt Mar) and getting into the zone. I will be fine.

From diagnosis to this day, I have had so much to be thankful for but today I'd like to thank my silver "PINK" lining: my Susan G. Komen for the Cure/Dallas County Affiliate family. This pink sisterhood has been the place I have thrown my angry red energy at breast cancer and turned it softer. I have drawn strength and inspiration from the survivors and co-survivors I've met along the way. I have kept my fighting spirit alive for the beautiful people who lost their fight. So many of you have become fast friends for life.

My personal hero is our leader and founder, Nancy Brinker, because her story is my story. And she has exemplified how one person can change the world. Losing a young sister to cancer and then surviving this disease gives you strong motivation to fight back. Thirty years ago, the word "breast" couldn't be printed in the newspaper to talk about the little race for the cure she was having in Dallas where 800 people showed up. How she has changed the world and the conversation about breast cancer (yes, we can even graphically blog about it!). I admire her and respect her deeply.

"People tend to think of pink as a soft and delicate color, but not our pink. At Komen, we know that pink is strong, pink is fierce, pink is brave, and pink is mighty. Just talk to any one of the nation's 2.5 million breast cancer survivors and you'll know the power and courage of pink. I am proud to stand with them, as one of them." - Nancy Brinker

There is no pink elephant in the room among my Komen sisters. We can talk genetic mutations, scars, new breasts, doctors, hopes, fears, losses like we are talking about the weather. It's a safe place full of fierce pink energy. People associated with our cause put countless volunteer hours and efforts into our passion. Respected Dallas Companies like Fox 4, Tom Thumb, Luke's Locker and Katydid Collection are sponsors of the Komen Dallas Race, but their leaders are also wonderful, compassionate people who have become my personal supporters as well. Pictured here is my lovely find from a North Haven Gardens fundraiser. Our cause is filled with amazing people, amazing events and amazing pink energy.

I know that I am often obnoxious in my fundraising and support of this organization, but it has been my soft pink fluffy place to land. It has opened my eyes to the science we are energizing towards a cure but more importantly it has made me look outside of myself. All the pain and suffering my family has experienced because of cancer takes on a different light when I look at what others in my community are experiencing. Women learning to make scarves out of old T-shirts to cover their chemo bald heads because they can't afford a wig; women who don't get mammograms because they believe they can't have it because they have no family history of breast cancer but have a grapefruit size lump; women struggling to keep their homes and their jobs while fighting cancer; women who are taking the bus to their chemo appointments; families making choices between food and treatment. If I could help everyone of them, I would. But I am only one person. So I choose to stand with my Sisterhood of the Pink to make a difference.

Thank you all for your prayers and support. July 6, 2011, I need your prayers, karmic energy or whatever you believe in - that these teensy, tiny cancer cells have not found their way into my lymph nodes. We don't want no stinking chemo!! Can I hear your chant? NO NODES NO NODES NO NODES!!!

October 15, 2011 is the next Komen Dallas Race for the Cure. I hope you will join me in my victory lap

http://dallas.info-komen.org/goto/TSwain