Don't Worry. Be Happy.

Once you've had a cancer diagnosis and you go through SURGERY. And CHEMO. And  RADIATION. And POST CANCER DRUGS...there is a point when you ask yourself:

AM I DONE???

Am I CURED? In REMISSION? A SURVIVOR?

For so long after C1, I never felt done.  I was a ticking time bomb waiting for another lump, or bad blood work. Every headache was a brain tumor.  Fatigue was the cancer creeping back.  I was in a never ending game of baseball....9th inning, 3 balls, 2 strikes - and I was the BATTER UP.

When my head hit the pillow, I imagined how I would face a terminal diagnosis; I made plans for my children; and imagined my funeral service;  kept good records for the executor of my estate. Oh and I had fun too. I bought things I wanted. Visited amazing places.  And you would have never, ever, ever imagined this was my worry. But always, always, cancer was my constant companion.

I guess the bottom line is this:  I worried and it happened. Worry didn't change the outcome. Luckily for me, C2 wasn't the cancer of my worries.

I'm pretty sure with my family history, C3 isn't out of the question. But the way life is, a thousand shoes may drop and the unexpected will rock my world - my left field theory of life.

So I've decided to give up the worry.  And Be Happy. I hope you'll join me.